


This Is How You Lose Him

by foldingcranes



Series: All These Things I've Done [11]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Pre-Fall of Overwatch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 07:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14014863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foldingcranes/pseuds/foldingcranes
Summary: They kiss, and it's sweet and tender and tastes like hope. It makes Gabriel smile, despite his circumstances, and Jack's whole face brightens. His eyes are softer as he rests his cheek on Gabriel’s shoulder and hugs his waist.Jack says, “I’ve missed you.”





	This Is How You Lose Him

**Author's Note:**

> Much love to TinyOctopus (and Salem) for helping me out with this piece!

They break up long before the explosion.

Gabriel knows that Jack’s holding on as tightly as he can, wanting to make himself blind to the growing chasm between them— trying to avoid seeing what's in front of him. Pretending it isn't happening (to him.)

Gabriel pities him. Pities them. Pities what has become of them and feels too tired to keep trying, shadows lurking at the back of his mind as he sleeps, his lies and omissions a crushing weight over his chest. Sometimes, the feeling gets so claustrophobic that he thinks he’s going to choke on it, that karma’s going to him real good and make him end up at the end of Moira’s merciless scalpel and the cold, white lights of her lab.

This is his cross to bear.

The first time he sits down next to Jack on their bed and tells him it isn't working anymore, Jack manages to convince him to stay.

"You can't just give up," Jack says. His voice is tired. His whole body is tired. Even the space between them is devoid of energy.

Without looking at him, Jack grabs his hand, squeezing it tightly, and doesn't let go of him. Gabriel closes his eyes and lets him. And then he lies to Jack’s face.

"Okay," Gabriel whispers, holding just as firmly. "One more shot— just. Let's try to change the way things are, this time. Let’s make an effort." Jack nods, eyes a little wet. He says ‘thank you’ as he releases a breath of relief that makes Gabriel cringe.

They kiss, and it's sweet and tender and tastes like hope. It makes Gabriel smile, despite his circumstances, and Jack's whole face brightens. His eyes are softer as he rests his cheek on Gabriel’s shoulder and hugs his waist.

Jack says, “I’ve missed you.” 

Gabriel barely refrains from punching himself in the face. Instead, he puts his hands on Jack’s shoulders and pushes him back to the bed, forcing him to lie on his back. He doesn’t say another word, as he loves Jack and nestles inside of him until Gabriel is completely and utterly surrounded by him until he’s lost in Jack’s kisses and Jack’s body and he’s leaving the imprint of his love inside and outside of Jack.

The next morning everything feels new.  They have breakfast together, something that seemed so long gone. They laugh again, a little. They hold hands like teenagers.

It's good. It's soft and has the exciting flavor of a new beginning, of carving something different out of the ashes of hardship.

It doesn't last.

Jack gets pulled in every direction and sinks again, slowly and silently, like a rusty anchor.

Gabriel finds himself lonely and adrift, starving for a connection that doesn't seem to exist anymore. Encased in his secrets and his lies and Moira’s unflinching drive. He’s in a hell of his own creation, longing for a way out. Longing for better times. Longing for simpler things and for the way he and Jack used to be.

He tries, and Jack tries and the  _ trying _ gets so fucking tiring it just opens the door for resentment and anger—

That's when Gabriel stops.

He sits next to Jack again. On their bed. Stares at the sunny day through the window, hands on his lap.

(The smell of smoke still clings to his skin.)

"You need to let me go, Jackie." He's not angry. He's not resentful. He's not spiteful.

Gabriel's just  _ exhausted _ .

"I don't know how to let you go," Jack admits after a beat of silence. "I don't remember how it feels to  _ be _ without you."

Gabriel curses.

"You're your own person, Jack," Gabriel softly says. He drags a hand down his face, trying not to look at the devastation on Jack's weary eyes.

Jack. Not Jackie. Not Sunshine. No endearments.

It needs to be a clean cut. For Jack’s sake.

(For his own sanity.)

Jack sits there, hunched, head in his hands and staring at the floor. Completely defeated.

"Just go," he stutters, sounding breathless and scared. "Make it quick."

It doesn't end with a big fight or a dramatic goodbye. They don't scream at each other. They don't break things or make a scandal.

Gabriel takes his wedding band off and leaves it on top of Jack's bedside table. Then, he stops to kiss the top of Jack's head.

"Take care," he says, because 'goodbye' sounds like forgetting and 'I love you' would break Jack into a thousand pieces.

So, Gabriel leaves Jack. Leaves their bed, stands at the door and takes a look at his surroundings so he can memorize every single thing.

_ This is the room where I loved you. This is the room where I built a life with you. This is the space we created together. _

Gabriel closes the door after getting out. He drops his head against the wall and listens to the muffled sounds of Jack's crying.

He'll do the same, later: when reality hits him so hard and so violently he won't be able to sleep without hugging a pillow or drowning in self-loathing.

On Monday, on his way to Moira’s lab, Gabriel will see Jack across the hallway among a sea of people, and he'll say 'good morning.'

Jack will smile, an empty thing that won't reach his eyes. Still wearing his wedding band. Still impeccable.

Still sad.

And Gabriel will look the other way.

**Author's Note:**

> [Yes, you can yell at me](https://twitter.com/foldingcranes/).


End file.
